George Carlin – Entertainer, Activist

george-carlinGeorge Denis Patrick Carlin[1] (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic,actor, and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his “Seven dirty words” comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government’s power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.

He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time: one newspaper called Carlin “the dean of counterculture comedians.”[2] In 2004, Carlin was placed second on the Comedy Central list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor.[3] The first of his 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. From the late 1980s, Carlin’s routines focused on sociocultural criticism of modern American society. He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live. His final HBO special, It’s Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. In 2008, he was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

“Consensus reality is often intentionally misleading.” [On supporting a new 9/11 investigation] he added, “You know, that’s like…they don’t investigate themselves in this country…it would be likethe Kennedy thing…it would be like everything! The people in charge do what they want, and they will always do what they want. Power does what it wants to. I wouldn’t trust an investigation.”

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Why Engagment Rings are a Scam

 

The comical geniuses over at College Humor recently released a new short video that is capturing the attention of many across the internet due to its comedy, but even more so due to its factual backing. The 4 minute video takes us through the history of the engagement ring, a material good that so many of us now both associate and expect as a “symbol of love.” The video shows us how this now commonly accepted viewpoint was molded into all of us by nothing more than an advertising campaign by the diamond juggernaut De Beers. Check it out:

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WHAT IF: Rothschild Bloodline Had Been Replaced with Tesla’s?

Anyone remember ‘The Jetsons’ cartoon?  This was not far from the truth – actually – it was the truth.  A sad reality that we have yet to release humanity from this bondage…

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The Grad School Scam

The Grad School Scam

SatireVideo September 29, 2012 0

The worlds biggest financial scam in history is revealed!

Visit us on Facebook: JestComedy

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Colbert’s The Word – Two Birds With One Drone

Two Birds, With One Drone

The Obama administration reasons that anyone in a strike zone is likely Al Qaeda, so no one has to feel guilty about civilian casualties.

 

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word – Two Birds With One Drone
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive
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Joe Rogan and The American Ideal

A very enlightened Joe Rogan discusses the American Ideal. Clips from his podcast The Joe Rogan Experience. Also from The Duncan Trussell Family Hour.

 

 

 

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LOST WORMHOLE: Space/Time Continuum in Danger

“Do Not Attempt Capture Because You’ll Totally Screw With The Space/Time Continuum Bro”

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Obama’s First Paper Airplane – No Casualties

Barack Obama at 6 Years Old after making his first paper airplane, flying it over a part of town where he’s never been before, and being disappointed that it didn’t kill a bunch of people he didn’t know.

 

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Real Journalism Under Attack: RAP NEWS Nails it Again with “A News Hope”

Juice Rap News: Episode XIII – A NEWS HOPE. It is a time of corporate war; deprived of a reliable media the people of Planet Earth are kept misinformed and in a state of perpetual conflict. Is an honest Fourth Estate the only Force than can restore peace and balance to the Galaxy? To find out, we consult two of journalism’s most influential and inflammatory figures: Rebel journalist enfant terrible, Julian Assange, who awaits a verdict in London which could see him ‘extradited’ to Sweden. And on the opposite end of the journalistic spectrum: Rupert Murdoch, head of the mighty NewsCorp media Empire, embroiled in legal scandals that go to the highest and lowest levels of celebrity in Britain. In the manichean manner of some ancient laser sword and forcery epic, join the wisest news-anchor in the Galaxy, Robert Foster, as he attempts to wrangle these two figures together for a rap-debate. Will the light or the dark side prevail – and is it really that easy to know which is which? How many Bothans died to bring us this information? Is the Force Estate with Robert? Will we see THE RETURN OF THE JOURNALI before the EMPIRE EXTRADITES BACK? For answers to all these questions and more, pull down your blast shields, switch off your on-board computer and feel the Force, in this latest episode of Juice Rap News… or click play.

CONNECT with us through:
Our website: http://thejuicemedia.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/juicerapnews
Farcebook: https://www.facebook.com/rapnews

DOWNLOAD free MP3: http://www.reverbnation.com/rapnews
LYRICS available here: http://thejuicemedia.com/video/lyrics

SUPPORT the creation of new episodes of Juice Rap News – a show which relies on private donations: http://thejuicemedia.com/donate

CREDITS:
– ARTWORK by Zoe Tame http://visualtonic.com.au
– ORIGINAL MUSIC: Main Beat: “The Golden Era” – by The GOAT, ILL Beat Constructor: http://www.thegoatbeats.com
– ORIGINAL RAP-WARS theme music composed by Adrian Sergovich.
– VIDEO: Special thanks to Jonas Schweizer in Germany for creating the animated intro and RapWars special FX. (ATM he’s working on an awesome new documentary project: http://www.indiegogo.com/CaribbeanNewcomer)
– Many thanks to the following humans for lending their time and talent to the making of this episode: Ellen (Brianna Manning and SwededTrooper_1) and Zoe (SwedeTrooper_2); Lucy for voiceovers (Admiral Gillard, Manning & SwedeTroopers); Rosie Dunlop for make-up magick; Dave Abbott for technical & video advice. And finally, to Kristinn Hrafnsson of WikiLeaks for his debut kameo.

CAPTIONS: Thanks Koolfy & Siltaar at La Quadrature du Net for English captions.

TRANSLATIONS: Thanks to Euclides for Portuguese translation :)
**If you would like to translate this episode into your language, please contact us first via: http://thejuicemedia.com/contact**

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Illuminati, the Conspiracy Theory That Connects Jay-Z and Queen Elizabeth

Why did Jay-Z and Beyoncé name their kid “Blue Ivy”? What was the deal with Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show? Why did Whitney Houston die? Some people might say that “famous people are weird and sad” is the answer to all three questions. But no, the answer is: The Illuminati. Who? Allow us to explain.

Note: to best service our readers, we’ve divided this guide into two sections — first, the believer’s guide; second, the skeptic’s guide.

The Believer’s Guide

What is the Illuminati?
The Illuminati is an ancient and shadowy group of elites who control nearly every aspect of life on this planet — from finance and government to religion and culture.

Who is in the Illuminati?
The Illuminati is made up of the world’s political and financial elite, and also, rappers. Theoretically, membership rolls are kept secret, but most YouTube intellectuals agree that the following people are members:

  • Barack Obama
  • the Pope
  • Queen Elizabeth II
  • George Soros
  • Ben Bernanke
  • George W. Bush
  • Jay-Z
  • Kanye West
  • Rihanna
  • Bob Dylan
  • Beyoncé
  • Lady Gaga
  • Jim Carrey
  • Willow Smith

What do the Illuminati do?
Oh, you know, conspiracy stuff. Assassinations, currency manipulation, Super Bowl halftime shows. All executed through puppet institutions and groups like the Federal Reserve, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Freemasons, and Def Jam Recordings. And all carefully controlled and hidden to ensure that their meddling in world affairs will remain secret.

This is sounding more plausible by the minute. What’s the end goal of the Illuminati?
The end goal of the Illuminati is to establish a one-world authoritarian government known as the New World Order.

…and then?
Here, theories differ. Some of the internet’s finest minds, writing on scholarly websites like Yahoo Answers, believe that forced conversion to homosexuality will be a top agenda item in the New World Order. Others claim the first order of business will be to round all non-Illuminati up into FEMA camps, possibly as part of a deal struck with aliens in Roswell. Many, if not most, experts believe that the New World Order will be a front for the rise of the Antichrist.

The Antichrist?
Yes. The Illuminati is made up of Satanists.

Even the Pope?
I can see how it’s confusing. The Pope is actually a Satanist, just like Jay-Z and the Queen of England. (He might even be the Antichrist.) In fact, the whole Catholic church is just a continuation of Babylonian paganism, didn’t you know? They keep demons trapped inside the Pentagon, which is why it’s, you know, pentagonal.

Okay. How can I tell who’s in the Illuminati?
I know this sounds counterintuitive, but prominent Illuminati members frequently flag their Illuminati connections. Like how in Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” video, there’s that goat head-shaped star formation? Or have you ever seen Jay-Z’s video for “On to the Next One“? It has agoat skull in it. Goats, bro.

Goat heads are an Illuminati symbol?
Goat heads represents Baphomet, the goat-headed god beloved by 19th-century occultists. It’s not the only weird occult reference in “On to the Next One.” The creepy guy with the crow, Jay throwing devil horns, the, uh, actual Masonic symbol — all of Hov’s (that’s right: Hov) videos are filled with Illuminati and occult symbolism. So are Lady Gaga’s: that pink triangle and unicorn that you thought was some campy gay reference? Actually symbols of the immaculate conception of a new order of humanity. So are Kanye’s videos, especially “Power.”

But how will the Illuminati possibly pull off their plan for secret world domination if they’re constantly advertising their own existence?
Hey! Did I tell you about Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show?

Ooh, no, tell me.
It was obviously a Satantic ritual. The color scheme was red and black. She had horns on her helmet. The show happened within 48 hours of the full moon. Her male dancers formed a pyramid, a Masonic symbol. It ended with the phrase “World Peace” — as in, “New World OrderPeace.” And LMFAO was there.

LMFAO is Illuminati?
Can you think of any other reason for their success?

But why would the Illuminati hold a Satanic ritual during the biggest television even of the year?
To celebrate the upcoming assassination of Whitney Houston.

The Illuminati killed Whitney Houston? But… why?
For two reasons: one, to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth, and two, to make room in the Illuminati for Blue Ivy Carter.

Who else have the Illuminati killed?
Oh, you name it — J.F.K., 2Pac, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson. Heath Ledger’s death was a ritualistic sacrifice. Aaliyah was killed by Dame Dash so he could become famous.

Wow. That makes sense.
I know. And there’s stuff we haven’t even covered!

There’s stuff we haven’t covered?
Just a couple, things, like the Bilderberg Groupreptoidsclockwork elvesthe Greys, the Rosicrucians, the Knights Templar, and Planet X.

I really feel like I’ve learned a lot from this guide. Where can I learn more about the Illuminati?
I highly recommend reading the very factual Behold a Pale Horse and The Biggest Secret — but you can also find a lot of information on such rigorous and learned websites as Godlike ProductionsVigilant CitizenAbove Top Secret and Prison Planet, the website of Austin radio host Alex Jones. Finally, of course, a great deal of important information is distributed onTwitterYouTube, and Yahoo Answers.

The Skeptic’s Guide

What is the Illuminati?
A defunct German secret society of freethinkers, humanists and Enlightenment academics, founded in 1776 and infiltrated and shut down by Bavarian authorities about a decade later.

There hasn’t been an Illuminati in 200 years?
Well, it’s been in use as a conspiracy theory ever since it was first founded, mostly by monarchists, right-wingers, and religious Christians looking for explanations as to why things aren’t going their way.

So who believes in the Illuminati?
Generally speaking, Ron Paul voters, people who are in militias, washed-up rappers, teenage R&B fans on Twitter, and that one guy from high school who is always posting links to Erowid “experiences” to Facebook.

That’s kind of a broad range of people, isn’t it?
Yeah. Weird, huh?

I don’t get it. If it’s this right-wing Christian conspiracy, how do rappers start believing in it?
That’s kind of the million-dollar question. Columbia professor Marc Lamont Hill says that conspiracy theories are a natural response by African-Americans to their disenfranchisement: “There have always been questions and conspiracies about the structure and nature of power by African-Americans, and naturally those questions have made their way into hip-hop,” he told the Philadelphia Weekly in 2010. “[In the 1990s] people were going to black book stores… and buying books like Behold a Pale Horse… They were talking about the Illuminati and the Rothschilds and Bilderbergs.”

So Alex Jones and Prodigy were reading the same fucked-up conspiracy books? That’s wild, man.
Dude, Prodigy is going to to vote for Ron Paul.

This is pretty nuts. Can I read more about it somewhere?
Yeah — here’s a good Philadelphia Weekly story about the rap Illuminati phenomenon. Here’s a Slate column about pop music and Illuminati. Here’s an XXL timeline of Illuminati references in rap musicThe New Yorker has a really awesome long article about conspiracy theories in America from 1995, but it’s subscriber only. Animal has been tracking the Illuminati for years. And this was my favorite book when I was in high school, though it’s unfortunately out of print. Oh, and dude, you have to read Foucault’s Pendulum. And the Illuminatus! trilogy!

Yo, while we’re here, can we talk about reptoids?
No.

SOURCE:
http://gawker.com/5886988/a-comprehensive-guide-to-the-illuminati-the-conspiracy-theory-that-connects-jay+z-and-queen-elizabeth

By: Max Read, February 28, 2012

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‘Government’ as explained to an Alien Visitor

 

An inquisitive alien visits the planet to check on our progress as a species, and gets into a conversation with the first person he meets. The alien discovers that we live under the rule of a thing called “government”, and wants to understand more about what “government” is, what it does, and why it exists.

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Ben Franklin’s Unlearned Lesson of 9/11: The Theory of ‘Duh’

Disarming Innocent People, Does Not Protect Innocent People

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Anonymous Service – The Ultimate International Career

ANONYMOUS Service  (a CIA Job Post ‘Spoof”)

The Ultimate International Career

The Internet’s ANONYMOUS LEGION is the front-line source of ANONYMOUS information on critical international developments, from hacking and weapons of mass distraction to information warfare and political issues. The mission often requires ANONYMOUS service officers to live and work overseas, making a true commitment to the LEGION. This is more than just a job – it’s a way of life that challenges the deepest resources of personal skillz, self-reliance and responsibility. National ANONYMOUS Service Officers are individuals with varied backgrounds and life experiences, professional and educational histories, language capabilities, and other elements that allow us to meet our mission critical objectives.

ANONYMOUS SERVICE POSITIONS

 

Operations Officer

Operations Officers serve on the front lines of the social engineering business by ANONYMOUSly recruiting and handling sources of electronic data. It takes special skillz and professional discipline to establish strong human relationships that result in high-value data from ANONYMOUS sources. An Operations Officer must be able to deal with fast-moving, ambiguous and unstructured situations. This requires physical and psychological health, energy, intuition, “street sense” and the ability to cope with stress. Operations Officers serve the bulk of their time in overseas assignments.

Collection Management Officer

As the link between the ANONYMOUS Service Operations Officer in the field, the HIVE MIND and crowd sources, it is the responsibility of the Collection Management Officer (CMO) to manage the collection, evaluation and dissemination of Internet intelligence information. Managing the collection effort requires determining what global activists need to know and then communicating those requirements to the Operations Officer. To be effective, the CMO must understand ANONYMOUS Service operations and how they are conducted in front of their computers, as well as international issues and operating system environments.

Language Officer

The Language Officer applies advanced computer language skillz, experience and expertise to provide high-quality translation, interpretation and language-related porting for a variety of ANONYMOUS Service operations. In addition to their expert language skillz, Language Officers provide in-depth cultural insight — an important dimension of the job. They also work closely with officers in other ANONYMOUS Service disciplines — particularly field collectors — to support the overall mission of data acquisition. As with other ANONYMOUS Service professions, cross-platform opportunities and certain specialized training are integral elements of the job.

Operations Officer – Specialized Skillz Officer

Specialized Skillz Officers focus on intelligence operations for activists in hazardous and austere overseas environments. Information warfare special operations or rootkit tools experience,  previous shenanigans, cyberwarfare service, TOR proficiency, and foreign language proficiency are highly valued.

The ANONYMOUS Life

Operations Officers and Collection Management Officers spend a significant portion of their time in front of their computers. Typically, Operations Officers will serve 60% to 70% of their careers with a can of Red Bull in their hand, while Collection Management Officers will be eating pizza for 30% to 40% of their careers. Staff Operations Officers, although based in the Interwebz, ping overseas on a temporary basis. Language Officers also are primarily based in the Interchoobs, though short-term and some long-term VPN and Proxy opportunities are available.

Officers in each of these careers are under cover. By the very nature of this ANONYMOUS business, officers can expect limited external recognition for themselves and their families. Instead, the LEGION has its own internal promotions, awards and medals, and makes every effort to recognize the accomplishments of its personnel.

In addition to the LULZ, Officers are provided free domain hosting and receive overseas allowances for bittorrent downloads for their children when serving in front of their computers. There are also other benefits, such as pr0n incentives, that Officers can receive depending on their skillz set and position duties. Collectively, the benefits enable Officers to make significant contributions that impact our freedom, and experience a high level of job satisfaction and camaraderie throughout their career.

Is This the Job for You?

Traditionally, we have had an officer corps of considerable diversity in terms of politics, talent, personality, temperament and background. That said, there are some fundamental qualities common to most successful officers, including a strong record of social networking and photoshop achievement, good writing skillz, problem-solving abilities and highly developed interpersonal skillz. Overseas experience and languages are important factors as well. Officers must be perennial students, in the sense that they are required to seek answers, learn other languages and study other cultures to enhance their abilities to deal effectively with foreign cultures and societies.

 

Getting Started: ANONYMOUS Service Trainee (AST) Program

This is the launching pad for challenging positions in the International ANONYMOUS LEGION, providing new officers an opportunity to follow in the footsteps of today’s senior members. Uniquely qualified trainees are groomed in an intensive year-long training program to prepare them for the foreign-intelligence-collection challenges facing global citizens today.

 

 

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Alien Satire: Occupy Earth