ANONYMOUS Service (a CIA Job Post ‘Spoof”)
The Ultimate International Career
The Internet’s ANONYMOUS LEGION is the front-line source of ANONYMOUS information on critical international developments, from hacking and weapons of mass distraction to information warfare and political issues. The mission often requires ANONYMOUS service officers to live and work overseas, making a true commitment to the LEGION. This is more than just a job – it’s a way of life that challenges the deepest resources of personal skillz, self-reliance and responsibility. National ANONYMOUS Service Officers are individuals with varied backgrounds and life experiences, professional and educational histories, language capabilities, and other elements that allow us to meet our mission critical objectives.
ANONYMOUS SERVICE POSITIONS
Operations Officers serve on the front lines of the social engineering business by ANONYMOUSly recruiting and handling sources of electronic data. It takes special skillz and professional discipline to establish strong human relationships that result in high-value data from ANONYMOUS sources. An Operations Officer must be able to deal with fast-moving, ambiguous and unstructured situations. This requires physical and psychological health, energy, intuition, “street sense” and the ability to cope with stress. Operations Officers serve the bulk of their time in overseas assignments.
Collection Management Officer
As the link between the ANONYMOUS Service Operations Officer in the field, the HIVE MIND and crowd sources, it is the responsibility of the Collection Management Officer (CMO) to manage the collection, evaluation and dissemination of Internet intelligence information. Managing the collection effort requires determining what global activists need to know and then communicating those requirements to the Operations Officer. To be effective, the CMO must understand ANONYMOUS Service operations and how they are conducted in front of their computers, as well as international issues and operating system environments.
The Language Officer applies advanced computer language skillz, experience and expertise to provide high-quality translation, interpretation and language-related porting for a variety of ANONYMOUS Service operations. In addition to their expert language skillz, Language Officers provide in-depth cultural insight — an important dimension of the job. They also work closely with officers in other ANONYMOUS Service disciplines — particularly field collectors — to support the overall mission of data acquisition. As with other ANONYMOUS Service professions, cross-platform opportunities and certain specialized training are integral elements of the job.
Operations Officer – Specialized Skillz Officer
Specialized Skillz Officers focus on intelligence operations for activists in hazardous and austere overseas environments. Information warfare special operations or rootkit tools experience, previous shenanigans, cyberwarfare service, TOR proficiency, and foreign language proficiency are highly valued.
The ANONYMOUS Life
Operations Officers and Collection Management Officers spend a significant portion of their time in front of their computers. Typically, Operations Officers will serve 60% to 70% of their careers with a can of Red Bull in their hand, while Collection Management Officers will be eating pizza for 30% to 40% of their careers. Staff Operations Officers, although based in the Interwebz, ping overseas on a temporary basis. Language Officers also are primarily based in the Interchoobs, though short-term and some long-term VPN and Proxy opportunities are available.
Officers in each of these careers are under cover. By the very nature of this ANONYMOUS business, officers can expect limited external recognition for themselves and their families. Instead, the LEGION has its own internal promotions, awards and medals, and makes every effort to recognize the accomplishments of its personnel.
In addition to the LULZ, Officers are provided free domain hosting and receive overseas allowances for bittorrent downloads for their children when serving in front of their computers. There are also other benefits, such as pr0n incentives, that Officers can receive depending on their skillz set and position duties. Collectively, the benefits enable Officers to make significant contributions that impact our freedom, and experience a high level of job satisfaction and camaraderie throughout their career.
Is This the Job for You?
Traditionally, we have had an officer corps of considerable diversity in terms of politics, talent, personality, temperament and background. That said, there are some fundamental qualities common to most successful officers, including a strong record of social networking and photoshop achievement, good writing skillz, problem-solving abilities and highly developed interpersonal skillz. Overseas experience and languages are important factors as well. Officers must be perennial students, in the sense that they are required to seek answers, learn other languages and study other cultures to enhance their abilities to deal effectively with foreign cultures and societies.
Getting Started: ANONYMOUS Service Trainee (AST) Program
This is the launching pad for challenging positions in the International ANONYMOUS LEGION, providing new officers an opportunity to follow in the footsteps of today’s senior members. Uniquely qualified trainees are groomed in an intensive year-long training program to prepare them for the foreign-intelligence-collection challenges facing global citizens today.